Barking Up the Animated Tree
by Leo the Tiger
Summary: My first (and so far only) Dog City fanfic. Eliot and his girlfriend, Colleen (along with her nephew, Pomeroy), due to a freak accident, end up for real (yes, for real) trapped inside the animated world of Dog City as seen through the eyes of Ace Hart, private eye dog. As a result, Eliot's twin brother, Elias, has to animate the show, and so the show gets new characters.
1. Ch 1: A Senseless Freak Act of Nature

**Dog City**

* * *

**Barking Up the Animated Tree**

**Chapter 1: A Senseless Freak Act of Nature**

* * *

_(narration by Ace Hart)_

Dog City. A place for the civilized and uncivilized. A place where there is not anything surprising about the way behavior occurs. A place that smells like a Daschund's underbelly even if it is as clean as a mouth, and a town with a heart as cold as a husky's nose. That's assuming that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's mouth. Even if it is not, I should know, because it's my business to serve them. I'm Ace Hart. Private Eye Dog.

You know the story; I work to keep Dog City safe from harm, and the two most common waves of acts come from either Bugsy Vile and his gang, or sometimes Baron Von Rottweiler and his extremely stupid valet, Leon, who always seems to fetch when he isn't supposed to fetch. Go figure. But a new wave of senseless acts would arrive, and it wasn't even criminal. I don't mean to break the fourth wall twice here, but as many of you familiar with me and my shows know, I frequently interrupt the process to interact with my boss, Eliot Shag, who in turn has to please his own boss. But what you may not know until I say it just now is the fact that Eliot has a twin brother, Elias. And it's a good thing he, too, was in the animation business.

I don't know how or why it happened, but it wasn't a dream; it was real. Eliot, Colleen (his girlfriend), and Pomeroy (Colleen's nephew) managed to land in my world. They couldn't return to their own. It was the real world to me, and I do many things on my own without Eliot's prompting. But when he wants to show me to his world's TV viewers, we work together. Whatever was the case, the trio was now in Dog City (my world) and they had no way to get out. It's a good thing Artie left a note for Elias (who was dating his mother, Terri, at the time). He had collaborated with Eliot on certain shows, and he had moved in to one of the apartments close by to Eliot. The note Artie left, however, claimed Eliot and Colleen were on vacation (which was actually written because Artie himself made the assumption this was happening, and not because Eliot told him to do it). Either way, Elias would still have done it.

"Do you remember what happened to you when you three got in here?" I asked Eliot (when it was just the two of us).

"Last thing I remember," said Eliot, "I was watching TV to see the final results of my latest project, which was the episode where you beat Sherlick Bones at his own game."

"That was one of my finest performances."

"Yes, it was."

"All I know for certain is that soon as the credits rolled, the power went out. Bowser screwed up again and Bruno was banging his head with a wrench. Then there was a lightning flash that was awfully close to the apartment, which almost blinded me, and the next thing I knew, here I was. Colleen and Pomeroy came with me only because they just happened to be watching the show."

"Wonder if it will take another lightning bolt to get you out?"

"Don't know. Meanwhile, what should we do?"

"Well, since you helped me out once before, I should employ you again. I mean, from your persepctive, you were dreaming, but I saw you face-to-face. We'll just pretend you are my twin brother, which you aren't, but sort of are, if you know what I mean. We'll call you...uh...Eli Hart. Sound good?"

"That works for me. What about Colleen and Pomeroy? I'm only dating her. I'm not married."

"Should we pretend you are her fiancée?"

"We can, but how would she feel about it?"

"Well, she can go with the act. Besides, what's there to go wrong?"

I spoke too soon. There was an explosion. The two of us hid so that we wouldn't get hurt. Then the voice came from below. "LEON!" he screamed. "THIS ISN'T THE PENTAGON! THIS IS ACE HART'S OFFICE, YOU IDIOT! BAD DOG! BAD, BAD DOGGIE!" It was my old nemesis, Baron Von Rottweiler. He was trying to invade the Pentagon for some reason. We never did find out why. Even so, Eliot and I had to follow him, because he snuck back down the hole. Good thing I had enough money to fix the damage.

In the end, all we ended up going to was the dog pound because Leon had been trying to dig a tunnel out. Eliot and I had to take a side path so that the D.C.P.D. wouldn't mistake us for criminals. Not that they don't do that; they do occasionally get the drop on me and they have thrown me in jail. As a result, I'm listed as a felon and I can't vote, or so I thought. I think Chief Rosie O'Gravy got a pardon from the governor. I'll have to check on that.

Anyways, we got back outside, and we saw Leon and the baron trying to make a break for it. I decided to take the Hudson and have Eliot ride shotgun. "I've been waiting for this," he said. It took a while, because the baron decided to run us all over the city. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something.

* * *

_(break-in)_

**Ace:** ELIAS!

**Elias:** Don't yell at me, Ace; this was your idea!

**Eliot:** Didn't we go through this routine before?

**Ace:** We did.

**Elias:** The fans wanted it again. And it's a good thing I'm ambidextrous.

**Ace:** I'VE HAD ENOUGH ALREADY! Time for the old "blind alley routine!"

**Elias:** Fine; suit yourselves. This fast pace of drawing is giving me Carpal Tunnel syndrome. Not to mention lockpaw.

_(Elias draws a "DETOUR" sign on the road.)_

* * *

_(narration)_

Of course, Leon's always making the comical mistakes to cause problems for the baron, but the baron won't get rid of him. He drove into a blind alley to try to take a detour. They crashed, of course.

"CURSE YOU, ACE!" Rottweiler screamed as the two landed in the street on the other side. Rosie was right there, waiting with a net. Unfortunately, a hydrant broke, and the two of them found themselves soaking wet. I didn't bother to exchange witty banter with her; I was too busy trying to find a way to get Eliot and his companions back home. It wasn't going to be easy, but nothing is impossible these days.

* * *

_(break-in)_

**Eliot:** Elias, could we not do any more duplicates, please?

**Elias:** Sorry; I thought your fans wanted a running gag.

**Eliot:** That's not the running gag I had in mind.

**Ace:** Besides, it's giving me a headache. But tell us; what do we do now? And how do they get out?

**Elias:** I haven't figured it out, yet. But I'm going to go to the next part where Bugsy tries another scheme.

**Ace:** Fine by me. It's destined to have him, anyway.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Ch 2: Working With a New Partner

**Chapter 2: Working With a New Partner**

* * *

_(narration by Eliot Shag)_

So my twin brother was now doing my job. I just hoped it wasn't going to last too long, considering I'd rather be the one to do it. But as a sign of respect to him, I did plan to continue to use the character "Eli Hart," which I was going by for the time being. The viewers, therefore, would see him as a recurring character that worked for the Dog City police. (Ace would rather be by himself, I'm sure.) I was also planning to do some other characters based on fan suggestions, since I do that; one wanted to see a marching band drummer, because that's what he was. But I couldn't guarantee them that these characters would make it into the show. (Eli Hart would also look different from me, because unbeknownst to anybody else besides me and Ace, I base the characters on my friends and relatives from my real life. But the others didn't know that.)

Anyways, I spent the next day with Ace on my first case. Eddie, the wet-nosed news pup, had been shouting, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Senseless crime wave strikes Dog City once again! Funding to businesses all gone! Doggie Mint also robbed of everything!"

"Do you suppose that's Bugsy Vile's act?" I asked Ace.

"It's not something Meat the Butcher would do, as far as I'm concerned," Ace replied. "It's only fair we figure it out the proper way."

Just then we felt a flood of drool drop upon us...

* * *

_(break-in)_

**Ace:** ELIAS! YOU'RE DROOLING ALL OVER US AGAIN! ELIAS!

**Eliot:** Elias, are you asleep?

_(Elias had fallen asleep at the drawing table. Eventually, he wakes up and cleans off everything.)_

**Elias:** Oh, I'm so sorry.

**Ace:** You'd better be sorry. You got us all wet.

**Eliot:** Not to mention you may not mean the show's deadlines. You know how my boss is.

**Elias:** Okay. I'll get back to work. Where were we?

**Ace:** This is where you cut to the shots of Bugsy Vile vasking in the glory. That's assuming, of course, it is Bugsy.

**Eliot:** And make it stretch out. We have to figure it out.

**Elias:** Okay; I'll try. I'm not used to these kinds of shows.

**Eliot:** With a bit more practice, you'll do just fine.

* * *

_(narration)_

Bugsy Vile had already established himself as the king of senseless crime and violence, but it didn't register to us at first in case he was the one that was stealing all the money from the banks, let alone all the gold bones from the Doggie Mint. Mind you that wasn't the first time the Doggie Mint was robbed, but it was the first time somebody actually took something out of it. Bugsy resorts to crimes that don't make any sense, such as the squeaky toy drought Dog City suffered. So he didn't steal all the artwork from the one case with Sherlick Bones. But he did want to steal all the dough and bones from the Doggie Mint on the day he and his pupils of the Doggone Obedience School (which were actually cops in diguise) attempted to rob it. What he couldn't figure out was why all the big name police organizations were after him (FBI, CIA, Scotland Yard, etc.). Maybe it was a coincidence.

Either way, it was established that Bugsy was going bonkers over the success of the robbery, because we got a report from Chief Rosie O'Gravy that he did have possession of all the loot. (Prince, one of her cohorts, took secret photos of the scene.) Naturally, he was laughing at his wheezy laugh, and his girlfriend, Kitty, was gloating just as much. "Oh, Bugsy!" she smiled. "I just knew you'd come through!"

"Anything for you, my sweet!" Bugsy replied. "All we have to do now is find the perfect booby trap to capture Ace Hart, and then he'll forever be out of my sight. What's worse is that he's got a sibling working with him. We'll have to take them both out."

"And how do you propose to do that, sweetie?"

"Well, like you told me one day, when a mouse keeps stealing your cheese, you exterminate it. So, we'll exterminate him. I can't trust Meat the Butcher anymore; I'll hire somebody else instead. And that special somebody is..."

* * *

_(break-in)_

**Ace:** Don't keep us in suspended animation here! Who are we going to be up against?

**Elias:** Oh, he's called...Clyde the Cavalier. He was my fan suggestion to you, Eliot.

**Eliot:** Is he the cat knight?

**Elias:** He is.

**Ace:** He sounds like a real joust-up. What's the problem?

**Eliot:** I created a rival cat for him that would work with the good guys. But the city is Dog City. Are there any other cats besides Kitty?

**Eliot:** There are, Elias; yes. There are plenty of cats. There are just more dogs than cats.

**Ace:** And the rival cat?

**Elias:** Chase the Cavailer. They used to be partners, but Chase defected when he wouldn't tolerate the level of insanity his brother had risen to.

**Ace:** It works for me because I haven't wrestled with a cat in weeks. Mind you not all of them are bad.

**Elias:** Okay.

* * *

_(narration)_

"...Clyde the Cavalier!" In rode a cat dressed in a knight's armor on a horse. I'm not sure if Kitty was impressed or not, but Clyde was a knight, and knights are supposed to be chivalrous, even if they've gone rouge, so loyalty wasn't going to be an issue. What annoyed her, however, was the way he spoke, because he spoke with a British accent. He also alternated between older and newer English.

"And whom dost thou appoint me to fight today, honorable master?" he began.

"Whom dost thou?!" Kitty exclaimed. "Bugsy! Why couldn't you hire somebody that speaks real English?"

"Hast thou no smarts?" Clyde objected. "I speak proper English."

"No, you don't!" Kitty snapped. "And stop pretending you are from another country! I won't trust anybody who is not American!"

"Before the two of you get into an argument, allow me to butt in here and start the real end of the business," Bugsy jumped in. "Unfortunately, the canine I am asking you to eliminate is not amongst us, Clyde. Here is his mug shot." He handed Clyde a photo of Ace.

"Ace Hart? Never heard of him."

Bugsy took some time to inform Clyde about how much Ace was driving him mad. He also had a bunch of "IOU" (I owe you) notes to pay off, so all this wealth was going to get the debts and the ones he was in debt to off his back. (I wish I knew who the debt collectors were, but that was Elias's little secret.) All the while, Clyde had an army he was recruiting, some of which were gangsters under the cat Kitty once pretended to dump Bugsy in favor of, but the boss was in prison. Still, it was going to be a sight for sore eyes.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**_Dog City © Nelvana Limited Animation, Jim Henson Productions, and everybody else who owns the rights_**


	3. Ch 3: Further Distractions

**Chapter 3: Further Distractions**

_(narration by Ace Hart)_

Now it was Tuesday of the current week, and since I hadn't wrestled with a cat in days, I decided to settle the score sooner than later. If only I could get out, though...

* * *

_(break-in)_

_(Elias accidentally dropped the brush, which erased Ace's front door to his office. His thoughts about Artie's mother, Terri, the girl he's been dating, have been keeping him from being able to do his job effectively.)_

**Ace:** Elias, put the door back! I want out!

**Eliot:** Elias, are you paying attention up there?

_(Elias breaks out of his trance.)_

**Elias:** Oh, I'm sorry. Had a long night last night, and I can't stop thinking about it. _(He draws the door back.)_ Terri's a beauty, wouldn't you say?

**Eliot:** Terri? Artie's mother?

**Elias:** Yes. I'm dating her, just like how you are dating Colleen.

**Ace:** Oh, great! Now I've got two money dogs howling down my back the whole time!

_(Elias chuckles as Eliot scats a drum response.)_

**Eliot:** Ba-dum, shhh!

**Ace:** Eliot! Whose side are you on?

**Eliot:** Both sides, really.

**Ace:** Both? Well, anyway, did you put the door back?

**Elias:** It's there.

**Ace:** Okay. Anything else I should know?

**Elias:** You've got a visitor.

* * *

_(narration)_

"Hi, Ace! Why so low?"

It was Eddy, the wet-nosed news pup.

* * *

_(break-in)_

**Artie:** Bow-wow! Can't wait to see how this turns out!

**Terri:** But not now. *to Elias* We have to go do some errands. We'll be back.

**Elias:** Okay. See you when you get back.

*The two kiss. Eliot coughs to clear his throat, which unintentionally gets Elias's attention back to the drawing board.*

* * *

"What's on your mind, kid?" I asked Eddy.

"It's those cats!" Eddy exclaimed. "They're raiding the city like it was 13th Century England!"

The police sirens that we heard indiciated there was trouble going on. It was also a good thing that Eliot had Colleen, because that allowed me to continue to go for Dog City's finest: Chief Inspector Rosie O'Gravy. Don't get any finer than that.

We all gathered into my Hudson and followed the police downtown. We couldn't believe what we saw, but we saw it. Clyde and his whole army, all riding on horseback, all believing they were Dog Quixotes doing their respected duties. All to wipe us dogs out. And anything involving a dog was getting out of hand. Dogs do crazy things when deprived of all things soft and chewy, or when deprived of their hydrants. I know. It's my business to them.

Now don't get me wrong. The city is Dog City, but I have full respect for cats. As long as they do their roles to society and behave within means, I don't have a problem. Some of my toughest cases involved cats. But there is propaganda afoot that states cats and dogs are enemies. Period. Even if we don't have any reasons to fight, we should still be fighting them until there are none of them left. It's the same problem with mice and birds. A cat is the enemy. But I feel that's just unfair stereotyping of the cat. And it's also true that because there's a Dog City, there is a Cat City as well, and Cat City has its own share of dogs. The only thing we were ever rivals at were sports. But Clyde was turning this into a modern Americanized adapation of the English Civil War, or so I felt.

Clyde was there, charging on horse with his spear and sword. He broke into several houses and caused messes, leaving the dogs to go crazy. He broke into the police department. He destroyed all the fruits in my favorite fruit stand. He even broke through and damaged the Dog City Dog Pound, allowing the crooks to escape and leading the warden into throwing a temper tantrum. "BAD DOGS! BAD, BAD DOGGIES!" she kept screaming, but it was no good. "NO WALKIES FOR ANYONE!" No repsonses. (She also had no trust in me, even if Rosie did clear my name, but that's another story.)

"Ho, knights!" he shouted. "And a pox on thee who dare oppose me and my mission to liberate this world from the ultimate evil!"

"He means you, Ace," Eliot said to me.

"I had a feeling," I replied. "I haven't wrestled with a cat in almost three weeks now."

"PLEASED TO MEAT YOU, CLYDE!" came a familiar unwanted scream from the sides. It was the pure evil and heartless villain, Meat the Butcher. "THIS TOWN IS MINE!"

"I thought you hired Clyde, boss!" Bruiser objected when the gang stopped by to investigate the scene.

"BAD DOG!" Bugsy yelled. "BAD DOG, BRUISER, YOU STUPID! OF COURSE I HIRED CLYDE! BUT I DO NOT WANT MEAT THE BUTCHER INTERFERING WITH MY PLANS! HE'S DEAD, I TELL YOU! DEAD! DEAD MEAT!"

I knew this was going to get ugly.

* * *

_(break-in)_

**Ace:** Okay, let's stop it right here!

_(The action stops.)_

**Ace:** Elias, are you out of your mind? My enemy is Clyde! I didn't want to have to deal with Meat the Butcher!

**Elias:** Sorry, Ace, but the fans want to see him come back!

**Ace:** Fans, huh? Do you always go by fan suggestions?

**Elias:** No, but they help with the writer's block.

**Ace:** Oh. Well, I take it back.

**Eliot:** Be careful, Eliot. Meat is extremely hard to control. He was my boss's idea, after all.

**Elias:** All right. I'll remember that. Okay. From the top of the scene.

* * *

_(narration)_

"HE'S DEAD, I TELL YOU! DEAD! DEAD MEAT!"

It was my third nemesis of three, Meat the Butcher. (The other two were Bugsy Vile and Baron Von Rottweiler.) Mind you he was only doing this because he knew he was free to rampage having been escaped from prison. But his ambition was to kill Clyde, because he believed in the false propaganda that stated cats had to die just for being cats, because cats were the enemy. I tried to keep out of the way, because Meat still wanted to meat me into little tiny pieces. If he kept going for Clyde, we could focus on one thing at a time.

It wasn't going to get any easier, trust me.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Ch 4: The Final Joust

**Chapter 4: The Final Joust**

_(narration by Eliot Shag)_

It was Wednesday, and the city was in peril. Clyde and his cats were raiding Dog City and turning it into a Dark Ages Cat City. Meat the Butcher was out to kill both of us, and on top of it all, I couldn't get myself, Colleen, and Pomeroy back to the real world. Of course, Colleen and Pomeroy thought they were dreaming, and for the sake of everybody, we were better off leaving them to think that forever. I wasn't telling, and I know Ace wouldn't, because usually Ace doesn't talk to anybody but me when I'm doing the show. Elias was now doing the show. And if we haven't told you enough to fill the whole half-hour, we apologize; watch the show when next it airs and you'll see the whole story.

We had to split up. Ace and I would go after Clyde because he had been assigned to kill us under Bugsy's orders. Kitty, however, was threatening to dump Bugsy again, considering she didn't trust anybody who wasn't criminal and American; they had to be both.

"I hate you!" she yelled at Clyde as the police arrested her (because Eddie the wet-nosed news pup spotted her and reported it to Chief Rosie O'Gravy). "You don't know anything about anything!"

"Tsk, tsk," he replied. "Thou hast no belief in any enterprise!" He turned to his troops and yelled, "CHARGE, KNIGHTS! STRIKE A BLOW FOR THE HONOR OF FELINE FREEDOM!" (Clyde was a descendant of a cat from the Dark Ages who fought against dogs that were genuinely terrorizing them. Later the cats were doing it to the dogs when a different cat took charge. In the end, the two forgot why they were enemies, but had considered themselves enemies all this time, and thought it was wrong to think otherwise. In Dog City, cats peacefully live with dogs, but there are more dogs than cats.)

"Where art thou, haughty Hart?" Clyde continued. "Show yourself and let thy mace put you to your place!"

"I HATE ACE HART, AND I HATE CATS!" Meat was proclaiming. "I'M GOING TO BE SO PLEASED TO MEAT THEM BOTH!"

"Don't ever let me see your ugly face again!" Kitty yelled at Bugsy.

"She doesn't mean that, does she, Dogfather?" Frisky asked.

"I don't know, Frisky," Bugsy replied, shrugging his shoulders. "This is not going to end well regardless of who wins or loses. But one thing's for sure, Meat the Butcher is dead meat! I want him out of the picture as well as Ace Hart! I can't trust him, and I regret ever hiring him."

Later, Ace and I managed to chase Clyde all the way to an abandoned candy factory that he was using as his base (and all the factory equipment was taken out of the factory and moved to a different one). Although our initial ideas didn't work, we had a backup plan. We'd dress as knights ourselves and challenge Clyde to a joust. It allowed the police ample time to apprehend all the crooks, but they'd wait for us to finish jousting. But it was going to be a proper joust.

What was our initial idea? We'd jump in and bonk Clyde on the head with a mallet, because that leads to amnesia until he's bonked on the head again. It's an old TV trick. Instead, we ended up hitting the wrong cat, and Clyde caught us in the act.

* * *

_(break-in)_

_(Elias accidentally drew an extra police car by the factory due to another power surge.)_

**Ace:** Elias, what are you doing?

**Elias:** Whoops. I'm sorry; I'm just not used to doing this kind of show when the power keeps going out. I do better with it still working.

**Ace:** I admit I am uncomfortable with things myself, but I don't go complaining to Eliot about it. Okay, I do complain.

**Eliot:** But not very often. And there's never a power surge.

**Bruno:** BOWSER! WILL YOU GET ME THE WRENCH?

**Bowser:** Duh, I don't know!

_(The power blinks off and on several times. Bruno starts beating up Bowser, leading Elias to wonder where the landlord is at the moment.)_

**Elias:** Oh, no! Another power surge! I hope I get this done for you, Eliot, or you'll lose your job. I just don't know what time it is!

**Eliot:** Please do; if the boss fires me, Bruno will assume I'm not going to be able to pay the rent, and start moving my stuff out. He did that one, and Artie came to the rescue just in the time.

**Elias:** Did you take a loan?

**Eliot:** No; it was my paycheck. If only I could afford a nice house, but all the good ones are six figures.

**Ace:** I'm sure you're doing just fine. Anyways, let's get the mistake fixed.

**Eliot:** Better get a flashlight. It is in my closet.

**Elias:** Good idea.

_(Elias gets a flashlight with a full battery and positions it on the desk so he can concetrate. Eventually the power goes out and stays out, and it gets stormy again.)_

**Elias:** Now it's getting stormy. Wonder if we'll need that to get you out.

**Eliot:** Maybe not. Ace once stole my brush from me and drew a scenery himself.

**Ace:** Too bad I can't draw.

_(Elias now corrects the mistake and draws three horses. He keeps the police car, however, and puts two officers inside it.)_

* * *

_(narration)_

"You have insulted thee!" Clyde yelled. "You have insulted thee because thou hast taken out me henchman! We fight for honor the English way, with a joust!"

"Yeah, yeah; let's just get this over with!" Ace complained. "I gotta get out of this stupid uniform!"

"I think you're going to have to joust him first," I privately motioned. "After all, the plotline will have you take him down."

"Yeah?" said Ace. "Who says Ace Hart isn't versatile? Let me check something, though." He looked up and yelled, "Okay, let's stop it right here!"

* * *

_(break-in)_

**Elias:** What's wrong now, Ace?

**Ace:** Is this armor made of stainless steel?

**Elias:** Solid stainless steel. It's indestructible. That way, you can win the joust.

**Ace:** Good, but let's do it in just one blow. I'd feel better, the sooner I go back to my trench coat.

**Elias:** Have it your way. I just have to factor in the extra time.

**Eliot:** How is that?

**Elias:** Meat nabbed Rosie, Eddie, Colleen, and Pomeroy.

**Ace:** Nobody steals my co-stars or my boss's relatives and gets away with it!

**Eliot:** We have to take out Clyde first.

* * *

_(narration)_

While all this was going on, Meat used his buzzsaws to capture Rosie, Eddie, Colleen, Pomeroy. Frisky asked him, "What are you going to do to them, Meat? I'm hoping it's something...dare I say it...CRAZY!"

"OH, IT'S CRAZY, ALL RIGHT!" Meat snapped. "REAL CRAZY!"

Back at the factory, Ace was all set to joust. A henchman blew the trumpet, and the two charged towards one another at top speed, although it felt like forever because of the way Elias was drawing it. Ace had no idea what he was doing, though, because he was a bit terrified at the lance pointed at him. But he soon caught on, and he held his shield out with his own lance pointed. The horse he was riding seemed to get motivation from that, because it began to run harder, and in the end, when the two lances broke from the impact on the shields, Clyde ended up getting pushed off his horse. The loud crash (resulting from barrels falling on top of them) left him conked out and out of breath. The police then barged the door down and told us all to surrender, assuming Ace and I were working for Clyde.

"Too bad Rosie and the others have been captured," I thought. "They'd bust us out." The cops proceeded to cuff us as well as them, but not before we took our helmets off. Well, I took mine off; Ace's came off when he sneezed. "Doggone hay fever!" he snarled.

"Oh, it's you, Hart!" said the officers. "What are you doing working for Clyde?"

"I'm not," he said. "I was just trying to help you capture him. He challenged me to a joust and I won. All that's left is to free Rosie and the others. Where is she, and where's my pardon from the governor?" (Ace had yet to get a pardon from the governor, proposed by Rosie, to remove his criminal record.)

"That we can't find; our radar's out," said the officer. "But we'll keep searching. Also, let's get those off you." They proceeded to remove the handcuffs, and then directed us to get in their car. (Ace's Hudson was in the repair shop after the last occasion when Meat destroyed it.)

At the hideout Meat was using to keep his prisoners captive, Bugsy was throwing a fit. "Why is Ace not eradicated? What is Clyde doing about it?"

"CLYDE, SHYMDE! NO CAT INVADES MEAT'S TURF! ACE IS MINE!"

"THAT CONFIRMS IT!" Bugsy proclaimed. "HE'S DEAD! DEAD MEAT!"

"NO, DOGFATHER! NO!" Frisky protected, tackling the Dogfather to the ground. "The doctor said you have to relax."

"No, he didn't; that was last week."

"Well, don't do anything rash! We can't lose you, or we're out of business."

"Good point. Still, Meat is dead meat. The sooner he dies off, the better."

"LET US GO, YOU BIG BULLY!" Eddie managed to scream.

"NO, YOU DON'T!" Meat protested. "AND AFTER I RENDER ACE HART LIFELESS, I'LL DO THE SAME FOR ALL OF YOU! THEN I WILL BE FREE TO RUN DOG CITY MY WAY!"

By that point, Ace and I arrived with the other officers. "Hands off the cleaver, meater!" the star of our show announced as he made his presence known.

"ACE HART?!" Meat, Bugsy, and his gang exclaimed in unison.

"But you's supposed to be dead right now!" said Brusier.

"Nobody is dead. Clyde's just behind bars where he belongs!" I said. "And soon you'll be the same!"

"Well, that will get Kitty off my back until she repents," Bugsy thought to himself. "She'll be back."

Now if Elias was doing the show the way my boss had once wanted me to do it, there would be tons of gunfire going about, but no damage to anybody. As Ace once said to me, "Gee, Eliot; I like a nice shoot-'em'-up as much as the next guy, but this has gone too far!" Instead, I ran to free the hostages as Ace grabbed a tennis racket, and soon Bugsy (who was only cooperating in order to get rid of Meat) launched tennis balls for Ace to aim at, although he was aiming at Meat. Enough balls hit Meat in the fact to the point he fainted, and soon Rosie got her boys to slap the collars on him. Colleen and Pomeroy ran to me and hugged me for dear life, both of which were crying.

"How'd you know we were here?" Rosie asked Ace.

"I can smell that perfume of yours anywhere," Ace replied, not wanting to reveal anything about the fact he was a cartoon star. (But from his perspective, he was living his real life.) "I do believe that's all the bad guys. I mean, I know Bugsy is there, but I don't think he's done anything this time except hire Clyde to exterminate me."

"Is that attempted murder?" Pomeory asked.

"Indirectly, because he hired somebody else to do it," Rosie replied. "But he's actually under arrest for that lottery ticket scam he did last month; we just hadn't caught him until now."

Eventually the cars all drove away after all the bad guys were rounded up and arrested. Then the storms got worse, but it was the escape route we had been hoping for.

* * *

_(break-in)_

_(There is another flash of lightning close to the apartment, which is what bizarrely fixes the electricity, and simultaneously knocks out Bruno and Bowser, angering the landlord when she sees that they were lying down on the job. Elias sticks a brush into the drawing, which Eliot, Colleen, and Pomeroy jump on. The next thing they know, they are back in the real world, and to the viewer, portrayed as their puppet selves. Colleen and Pomeroy, however, have had their memories wiped clean of the whole event. Eliot, however, still knows everything, but keeps it a secret. The three continue to hug.)_

**Colleen:** Whoa! What a nightmare! I'm just glad it's over!

**Eliot:** So am I. We can breathe a sigh of relief. It's over. _(to Elias)_ Thanks for your help, Elias.

**Elias:** You're welcome. It's fun. I just wish I knew how you do the show better, because I basically used repeat ideas. I don't want the boss to fire you over this.

**Eliot:** I think I can edit it a bit. I can give you some pointers if you like the next time I do a show.

**Elias:** I appreciate that.

_(The group takes time to recover from the shock. Colleen and Pomeroy forever continue to believe it was all just a bad dream, and Eliot keeps it that way. The next day, the two brothers work together to put the finishing touches on the show, and it gets the boss's approval before it airs, even with the repeats. Meat the Butcher is voted as the fan favorite villain, even though he isn't the main villain.)_

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
